hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
