i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is Oprah even human
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize