So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
