i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
