I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
