Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
