Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize