it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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