No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
