I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Semen is not good for contacts.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
