I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
