Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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