one might say we're banned from that church
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
