Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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