that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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