He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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