Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's rum buckets o'clock
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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