So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
