Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
