Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
