it hurts more in the daytime
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
