Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
