I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You may now shotgun with the bride
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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