girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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