so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
