She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
