I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
