that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We talked him into tasing himself.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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