hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
