i think my tv is drunk
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
