I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sex in a hospital.. check
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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