mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
