When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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