I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
