he thought i was a dude.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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