wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
