90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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