she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
