I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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