MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
