he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dear god my vagina.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
