Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
