At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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