we have officially lost it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
