Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Randomize
