Dual....:-)
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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