idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
