Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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