thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
