To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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