When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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