brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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