You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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