Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
