Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize