I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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