Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
