Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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