Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
