So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize