You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
