Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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